Do You Worry?

Are you a worrier? Do you find yourself worrying about your children and what the future holds for them? Do you find yourself worrying about the economy? Your mortgage? Getting older? Your health?

As a brand new mum, all those years ago, I found myself worrying was I going to be a good mum, was I doing things right etc. I asked an older woman, a grandmother, “When will I stop worrying?” Her response was welcome to the world of motherhood you will never stop worrying and with a laugh she added that I would get used to it

Well as the years have gone by, I have grown in confidence in my ability to be a mother and I have learned a lot about worrying.

Most of us have times when we worry. We will worry about whether we will still have a job, we will worry about whether our business will survive, we will worry about having enough money to pay our bills? When we worry we can lose sleep, not eat, over eat, drink too much, and generally feel under pressure. But what good will it do? The answer is – Not a lot!

Worrying by itself will not change our situation. Indeed it can make it more challenging for us to come up with plans and strategies to make things better. Each of us as an individual needs our own personal plan to make our personal situation as good as it can be.   To do this most effectively we need to get out heads into a place where we are calm, clear and focused and not bogged down in worrying about what might happen.

One of the most effective ways that I have found over the years is put my head in a good place to create a plan is to take time to stop, forget about everything and go out and have some fun. All the better if this fun is achieved engaging with others and getting outdoors and being active.   So when is the last time you

Got tickled?

Ran up a hill just because it was there?

Made a sand castle?

Painted a picture?

Played chase /hide and seek?

These things are far too much fun to be left to children. When we take time as adults to find our own inner child and go and have some fun we do something that is really good for our mental health and well-being.   We give ourselves the opportunity to recognise what is really important to us, to feel good about ourselves and to put things into perspective.  This is especially true if it involves lots of laughter.

With a clear head we are better able to look at our current situation. With a clear head we are better able to identify the strategies that will work for us. With a clear head our plans will be more effective. How many of us have said to others when we see them getting bogged down “take a break”. The reality is that often we are much better at saying this to others, rather than applying it to ourselves. So if you are caught up with worrying, being stressed, and cannot see the wood from the trees, it is time to take a break and have some fun.

Make a list of all the fun things that you would love to do but haven’t done for a long time. What is actually stopping you?   Is it money? There is lots of fun stuff that you can do that does not cost money so that is not an excuse. Is it time? Even a half an hour of fun will be beneficial so take a half hour off, the world won’t actually fall apart. Is it guilt? Do you feel guilty about having fun when things are bad? Well it is for your mental health. It really will support you deal more effectively with your personal challenges if you take some mental time away from them.

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Mary Corbett is a founder member of  Parenting Club,  author, life and business coach and mother of 2 busy children aged 12 and 17.