Decision time

In various conversations that I have experienced over the past week, I have been very aware of people who are making decisions without thinking through the consequences and at the opposite end of the spectrum people who are seriously procrastinating and really avoiding making a decision at all, at all. On more than one occasion I have found myself saying:
“Nobody sets out to make a bad decision”
The first time I came across this statement, I found it very powerful. We all make decisions each day. They can vary from the mundane “what clothes will I wear?” or “Will I eat that second helping of dessert?” to considerably more serious such as “Will I take this job offer?” “Will I leave my partner?”
The reality of decision making for many people is that we make decisions based on the best information that we have at the time. It may happen that the decision we make has negative consequences but we do not set out to experience those negative consequences.
What is important is that we actually understand the process by which we make decisions. I gather some information and then look for supporting evidence. I have a tendency to only focus on things that support my already half made decision. My husband generally looks for the opposing argument, which for big decisions can be really helpful. I find what is right, he seeks out what is wrong and generally we find the middle ground that suits us both. It works for us.
It is important to understand our own decision making processes and so my challenge to you this week is to consider you own decision making processes. I do believe that it is better to focus on the good decision processes rather than those that resulted in negative consequences. And so my challenge to you it to take time this week to consider the processes that you went through for some decisions that you have made in the past year that are turning out to be good decisions.
Did you make the decision alone or did you bounce your considerations off others? Did you only seek evidence to support your decision or did you seek out contrary arguments? How did you decide that you had enough information to make a decision?
And finally how do you want to use this knowledge to support good decision making in the future?

Mary Corbett is a founder member of  Parenting Club,  author, life and business coach and mother of 2 busy children aged 12 and 17.

Time after time

I was talking to a friend lately and she asked me what is the best piece of and advice I would give to a new Mom.

There are so many things which came to my mind. To be honest I could talk for hours, however having a 2 year old  at home there was only one thing on my mind…TIME.

Time is not relevant for a child, time has no meaning. A toddler play so much that she is lost in her activity, she wants to build a tower and nothing else matters. Children do not care about time and why would they?

As adults we are obsessed with time and its limitation, so my advise was to spend time with your child. Do not get distracted by errands, cleaning, cooking. Sit on the floor and let the child guide you what to do. Put away a watch, mobile phone, enjoy the precious time.

Kids grow up too fast and very soon they won’t be willing to spend that time with us, they have their own friends, secrets. So spend as much time now as you can.

Chloe, my daughter, is obsessed with playing hide and seek. She can play at any time of the day. She doesn’t care if a time says go to bed or go for a walk. So what do we do? We give her a number. She can hide 3 times and then it is time to got to bed, or to go outside. What did we gain by doing so? Piece and quiet. Because as funny as it sounds toddler can comprehend numbers but not time in general.

So coming back to my friend’s question. Spend quality time with your child. It is better to spend 30 minutes a day with your child and give her 100% of your attention, rather than being an entire day with them and not having time to properly play with your children.

After hearing that my friend said to me that I am the first person who actually gave her an useful tip as she understood it is ok to take time away from your kids to rest and do her own thing to recharge the battery in order to spend quality time with her children.

I would give that advice to anyone. Even though time concept is irrelevant for a child, what they need the most is us giving them our undivided attention.

What is your golden advice to new Mums out there?

Aga Schnier is a founder of ParentingClub2014, Mother and Law of Attraction Master Practitioner which she currently uses to promote positive parenting techniques.