As I write this blog there is a Red weather warning and so it is likely that there will be many parents who will be staying indoors. Fortunately the older ones are at school and so they will not need to be entertained today.
Now there is an interesting choice of words? Are we our children’s entertainer? Personally I think not. I am a firm believer that when we set ourselves up as their “entertainer” we end up in a no-win scenario with our children constantly looking for more and more “interesting” things to be entertained with.
On the other hand there is a day to fill and children like our attention, like to be doing things, and love to have fun. So where to start?
My first starting point to myself is to remember that while they may sit in front of the TV for ages, their ability to actively concentrate on an activity changes with age and is generally considered to be 3-5 minutes per year.
Now this does not mean that we will spend 15 minutes setting up painting and then only get 10 minutes of actual painting. Rather it means that when our child is painting they will still get distracted, want a chat, walk away and then come back, start a different picture etc. We can then take their ability to focus to create a longer painting session.
My own favourite strategies were to start by getting them to help me put the newspapers on the floor (yes we always painted on the floor until they were about 5) then
Paint with 1 paint brush
Paint with 2 brushes – one in each hand
Cut shapes in potatoes, paint the potato and let them make potato shapes
Then paint with their hands
And finally their feet
We then did the first piece of hanging the paintings and tidying things away
Followed by a much needed bath
As you can imagine, lots of laughter, fun but excluding the bath time I never expected to get more than about 45 minutes from the activity and the time spent was directed by them rather than me and on some occasions we actually got nearly 2 hours.
Another dimension of engaging with children on wet days is that they want to have you the parent with them. Now as the parent we all appreciate having a little time out when we mind ourselves rather than the child and the TV/Computer is an easy option. My own view is that it has its place and I have definitely used it myself when I wanted to have a quiet cup of coffee or a grown-up conversation with a friend.
Having said that the sorts of things I have done with my children on wet days have included
Cooking – buns and cakes absolutely but also letting them hold carrots, chop celery, cucumber etc., while I prep dinner
Stories – sitting with them and engaging with them while they read, or I read
Twister – I had hours of fun once my children were about 4/5 and knew their left from their right and their colours
Wii– mainly just for dancing / but also singing when they were older and this does foster them being active rather than sitting
Hide-and-seek and blind-man-bluff – yes there were bumps into furniture and a few broken ornaments but the fun was worth it
Board games – this is very dependent on acknowledging where the children were at and that they were able for the games and found them fun rather than challenging
Water play – a basin of water on the floor with some plastic egg cups, and small plastic containers were always a winner. I have some great photos of my son standing in the basin, in wet clothes laughing his head off. A bath for fun rather than cleaning is good too.
And I nearly forgot – they might actually like to spend time playing with their toys. I would often start with a “let’s see if there are any toys that you have outgrown that we can get rid of”. It was always an opportunity for them to find a toy that they had not played with in a while. They are quite capable of entertaining themselves too and it is good for them to learn how to keep themselves entertained.
On wet days I have always found it useful to stick to routines in terms of eating, but to clearly let the child know what to expect in terms of activities and once they were promised, they were delivered even if the weather brightened up.
Getting bored is not a problem and we gift them a great skill if we are able to teach them how to recognise that they are bored and can by their own actions get themselves out of that state. Rainy days can be great fun and a great opportunity to support the creative development of our children.
Mary Corbett is the co-founder of Parenting Club, professional coach and psychologist based in Cork, Ireland
I was talking to a friend lately and she asked me what is the best piece of and advice I would give to a new Mom.
Parenting Club 