Link

Baby Massage -Our First Language

In many ways, touch through Baby Massage is our first language – a language scientists are now beginning to understand. Being touched in a loving way can help small babies grow stronger and troubled children feel less anxious. In many hospitals and birth centres, newborns are placed on the mother’s chest or abdomen to give them the most skin to-skin contact. The touch between the mother and her baby brings them emotionally close – a process known
as bonding or attachment. In fact, in one study, premature infants who were massaged while at the hospital gained more weight and were ready to go home with their parents an average of six days earlier than preemies who were not massaged.

Do Baby Massge /you Can’t Spoil a Baby

Doing Baby Massage will not spoil your baby.Some parents do not pick up their babies as often as they could because they are afraid they will spoil them, but nothing could be further from the truth! Each time you pick up your baby, you let her know that you care and that you understand her needs. So don’t hesitate to hold your crying baby. Carry her on your shoulder and sing her a lullaby. Stroke her head, rub her back tenderly, and let her know you’ll always be there. Talking and singing while holding your baby can help you both to bond.Then go that extra bit and learn how to massage your baby, this can be a great experience for you and your baby. It is also a great way for Dads to learn as they are often afraid that they will break them. I was listening to the radio this morning and Ryan Tubridy was talking about Baby Brain. This brought me right back to those days and nights that are like a blur , when you find yourself in the shopping center doing your shopping and you suddenly have this sinking feeling “did I get dressed or am I still in my PJ”. Some times during those first few months we (Mothers) often doubt ourselves , am I doing a good job, is the baby getting enough stimulation , is he getting to mix with other babies. We can drive ourselves mad.(We can often feel quite mad)Don’t worry , you are not alone and NO YOU ARE NOT MAD.

Benefits of Baby Massage:

The purpose of Baby massage is to promote nurturing touch and communication through training, education, and research so that parents , caregivers and children are loved,valued and respected throughout the world .Infant massage is a wonderful experience shared between you and your baby. It provides numerous physical, psychological and emotional benefits for babies and the families who care for them.Here are some benefits
Bonding
Infant massage provides a wonderful opportunity for parents and caregivers to bond with their young babies. Touch conveys nurturing and love, the essential ingredients for emotional and physical growth and well-being. Eye to eye and skin contact, and the exchange of soothing sounds and smells, cuddles and smiles all help adult and baby feel closer. This close interaction helps improve your ability to understand your baby’s body language. You may then respond with more sensitivity and confidence. Your baby, in turn, feels heard and respected, and gains confidence and a healthy self-image as she grows.
In some cases, delayed bonding may occur due to situations such as premature birth, recovery from caesarean, medical complications, adoption, lack of physical and emotional support and post natal depression. In these cases Infant Massage can be enormously beneficial by giving caregivers an opportunity to recreate the elements of bonding. Massage is also beneficial to special-needs children and older children and facilitates deeper understanding, integration and connection with their parents and caregivers. As massage becomes part of your daily routine, you will gradually become more aware of your baby’s non-verbal cues. By taking time out of your day to connect with your baby one-on-one, you are communicating a message of love and security to your child.
Relief
Massage helps relieve common ailments such as colic and gas in newborns, and other discomforts experienced throughout infancy, such as teething and sleeping difficulties. Specific massage techniques are taught to relieve some of these conditions. In addition, infant massage can help your baby heal from emotional pain and upsets, such as doctor’s visits and vaccinations, or the trauma of a difficult birth and other difficult experiences.
Sometimes, your baby will cry when certain parts of her body are touched in massage. For example, a baby who has had many heel pricks may cry when her foot is touched, or a child who experienced a forceps or ventouse delivery may be upset when her head is touched. This can be a healthy release of sadness or trauma that is held in the body, and so it can be of enormous benefit to give your baby the opportunity to express her pain and frustration.
Stimulation
When you massage your infant regularly, her physical growth and development is stimulated in a variety of ways. Research studies show that respiratory, muscular, circulatory and immune systems all benefit form the positive effects of massage.Your baby may gain weight more easily, and experience improved immune function. In addition, massage promotes neurological development, and helps with the development of motor skills and coordination.These are some benefits but there are many more.

 

Colette Moynihan– mother of 3, runs her own website and offering Baby Massage and First Aid Classes.

The importance of a routine

I always have been a big fan of ‘Desperate Housewives’. There is this one scene where Mary Alice explains Bree’s weekly routine. It got me thinking that we all live within daily/weekly routines. I realised that no matter what we do we fall into some sort of the routine. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at-home parent or professional parent, we have our daily routine regardless.

Routines are important as they show us what is coming next (even though we don’t like doing certain things). The predictability of the day is essential, that’s why as adults, if something unexpected happens, we panic, get nervous or frustrated. We understand life and how it works.

However how our children fit into this? Imagine you are a newborn. For 9 months you get used to floating in your Mom’s belly, used to all gurgling, blood pumping, gases etc, it’s warm and wet. Suddenly you are being taken out, it’s cold, bright and the sound are different. What you do? You cry, as this is all you can do. For 9 months as a baby you had routine, this routine was in sync with your Mom’s. Well when she rested you decided to do all the stretching, somersaults etc. Believe it or not that was your routine, when your Mom was eating, you also got food, you started to develop tastes and preferences. You were familiar with certain smells, sounds and voices. Now, you are in this new environment and nothing is the same. You need to eat differently, you are put into water (which is very comforting, however doesn’t last long). You think that the world you are in is big and scary.

Imagine if your child feels like that?! Now what can we do to help children to adapt? By creating routines. It is much easier that everyone thinks.

You have a newborn, the sleeping pattern are all over the place. Newborns do not distinguish between day and night. We can start by bathing the baby at the same time. Then we massage them, feed them, cuddles and off to bed. Believe it or not, my daughter had her routines set within 2 months. She had two proper naps during the day and in the evening we had the same routine, bath, massage, while I was nursing her my husband was reading stories and usually she fall asleep while nursing.

Remember that creating a routine maybe a lengthy process as each child is different and has different needs, my son never sleeps while nursing, he needs to be cuddled and rocked before bed. So do not give up, you will get there.

Once you master sleeping patterns everything else falls into place. A rested parent is a happy parent right? When your child has proper nap time automatically you create a feeding routine. A 6 month old baby should be either nursed on demand or have between 3-5 bottles a day, depending on his solids intake.

My both children (25 months and almost 10 months) have 5 meals a day. 3 big ones (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and 2 snacks. The little one is also nursed on demand, while my daughter has access to water throughout a day.

I must admit that both my children are clock children. They both know what is coming next. They know that after breakfast we have time to play, have playdates with friends or toddler groups, my daughter herself comes and ask for ‘am am’ when it’s time for her snack. The same goes for her nap time and bed time in the evenings.

Routines also make children feel safe and this is very important. I’ve noticed this with my daughter that when she knew what was coming it was much easier to handle her. She knows that after the snack she has a little time to play and we are off to bed for nap. The predictability makes their lives easier, they feel safe and secure, as they know what is coming.

My husband and I worked hard to create proper routines for our children (we even got there with our son who was colicky and creating any routine for him was a nightmare). Now we can enjoy a little time for us during the day when the kids have their nap/quiet time.

Tell us if you have routine and does it work for you.

Aga Schnier is a founder of ParentingClub2014, Mother and Law of Attraction Master Practitioner which she currently uses to promote positive parenting techniques.

A difficult lesson in bonding

 Congratulations you are pregnant and you can’t wait to meet your little bundle of joy. You are imaging how you will feel when your child is born. How much love you will have.

Well that’s the dream and your expectation, however the reality may be completely different.

When my daughter was born I was lucky enough to bond with her immediately. She was perfect tiny human being. She slept well, ate well, we couldn’t ask for a better child. Even though I was tired after childbirth I had enough energy to take care of her. I was eager to stay with her all the time, she wasn’t in the hospital nursery as I had a need to be with her all the time.

My son’s birth is a completely different story. A long childbirth which ended up in emergency c-section. We were both exhausted and scared. I couldn’t touch my child straight after the birth. A day later he ended up in NICU and he had to stay there for 10 days. A natural bonding process was brutally interrupted. When we finally got home colic hit him. Again another obstacle in bonding. Once we overcame this we could peacefully be together.

What’s my point in writing all this? The bonding process was totally different with both my children. With Chloe everything came natural, I let the nature take it course so we all bonded easily and naturally. With Jason the natural process has been interrupted and the bonding was affected. I love my children very much and they are priority at all times, however I found much more challenging to bond with my son. I was wondering why that is.

I started to read and found out that labour is a huge factor in the entire process. C- section is an interruption, it’s a stress for the child (I am not denying the urgency and importance of the procedure when needed). Think of it like that, a vaginal birth is a natural way for both the mother and the child, child is aware what is happening. While c-section (whether planned or not) is a medical intervention and confuses the child. The child is being taken away abruptly from the only environment they know without any preparation or a warning.

I am not saying that every Mother has problems bonding with her child after c-section, in my case it was c-section plus his stay in NICU, not being able to be with my child all the time, seeing tubes in his body. As much as I can I kangaroo him (that was one of the coolest things in hospital, just body to body touch and being able to sing and talk to him as long as it was allowed). Colic was awful, nothing really helped him, having him in the sling did not help, the only thing was hairdryer and massage.

Finally I found the right thing for us. Massage. I have heard about baby massage for a long time, but never really took any interest in it (apart from little massage after the bath). I found that massage helped me to be closer with my son, to get the connection I was looking for. After just few times I felt in complete sync with my child.

We manage to overcome all the initial difficulties and now we can all enjoy being happy and  close 🙂

 

Aga Schnier is a founder of ParentingClub2014, Mother and Law of Attraction Master Practitioner which she currently uses to promote positive parenting techniques.