The majority of parents are busy both inside and outside the home. Many parents spend their time on a constant merry-go-round rushing here, there and yonder in a bid to meet the varying needs of their children.
Many of us as parents have made a very conscious decision to involve our children in various out of school activities in order to give them access to as many opportunities as possible. However I will be the first to admit that I have often underestimated the commitment that is needed to facilitate attendance at matches, competitions, extra sessions, changes in training times etc.
And so I can often find myself behind the wheel of the car and feeling more like a taxi driver than anything else. If however you suggested to me that maybe I should pull my children out of any of their activities my immediate response would be NO.
I am very clear of the value for my children of the activities. I now use those drives when I have just one child in the car to provide them with the space to talk to me and let me know what is going on in their head.
What I have learned over the past 17 years however is that each day I must make at least 15 minutes of me time each day, time to sit still and breathe and just restore my sense of calm. Taking some time out each day means that I am better able to hear what my children are saying to me, to deal with their issues and be a better and stronger parent. When I get flustered I am not really there as a parent for my children so those 15 minutes of calm that are just for me are really, really important.
Now I know that there are many who will say that they cannot possibly get 15 minutes but I believe that if we make the decision to gift ourselves that 15 minutes we will find a way to make it happen.
So if you are struggling to find 15 minutes, why not look at some of the activities that you do each day on auto-pilot. Are these behaviours actually necessary? Do you spend time making lunches when the children are old enough to do this for themselves? Does every room have to be spotlessly cleaned, every day?
So what would the ideal part of the day for you to gain that 15 minutes of calm? Take a 2 hour window and look at all the activities that you usually do during that 2 hours. Focus on those task that you do automatically. How long have you been doing them? Are they actually necessary? Do you want to lose them? Offload them? Do them at a different time, or do them differently?
Taking time for you, to mind yourself and support your inner sense of self and calm matters. It supports you to be the best parent that you can be. Taking time for yourself is a generous gift for your children.
Mary Corbett is the co-founder of Parenting Club, professional coach and psychologist based in Cork, Ireland
Parenting Club 